the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize