he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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