She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
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Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
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that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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