There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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