um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize