he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you will always have a special place in my vag
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize