went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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