I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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