What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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