hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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