Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
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