I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
The air taste purple.
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