does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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