take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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