Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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