it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
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Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
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He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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