idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I have aggressive nipples.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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