god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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