so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize