We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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