Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize