haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize