I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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