I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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