I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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