Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Success! We fucked roommates!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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