She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
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I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
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He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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