Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
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Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
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I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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