u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize