Need sex. Gaining weight.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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