I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
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i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
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You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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