Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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