I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize