All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
so much tequila, so little girl.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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