we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize