Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize