We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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