So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
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They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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