youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize