i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize