Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
