Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
ttyl tear gas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize