good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
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WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
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I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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