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  please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now

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• Sorry, but Christmas is the only time you get to see Grandpa, so you have to stay.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:02pm

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• OMG i can't begin to explain knowing this feeling...after a first date a guy asked me to watch pulp fiction with him at his house, next thing I know hes chasing me around the apt naked...I had to lock myself in his room til he promised he'd let me leave....I feel for you! lol

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 2:03pm

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• AND I was texting my best friend the same thing lol

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 2:03pm

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• Actually 12:12 you have to be first to ruin it fir those "first" retards

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:14pm

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• 12:02 wins....the end, if another frat douche says "suck it" stop living vicariously through this person. we hate you. go 12:02!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 2:47pm

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• 12:02 blew the actual text out of the water on the funny meter.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:15pm

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• That sucks I hope you got out

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 7:29pm

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• 1202 ftw hahahahaha that was glorious

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:05pm

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• Gross. Don't blame ya

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 11, 10 at 5:30am

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• Poor girl, I hope your friend came and got you.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 12:37am

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• hahahahahahahahaha nasty but so funny 12:02

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:05pm

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• this is not funny, this is sad. whoever it was was probably really terrified.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 6:59pm

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• Where in marylabd does this happen

  Submitted by c615s on Apr 28, 11 at 4:09pm

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• Ahahaha! I would flip my shit.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 27, 09 at 1:05am

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• hahaha the way this is worded is funny! I like this one!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:14pm

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• 10:59 - <3 chris hansen! He just makes you shit your pants when u walk in cause he has you by the balls. :)

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 4:48am

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• DICKS?!!!! Where?!!! I love sitting dicks just so suckable and shit. I want a mapquest to your place so I can gobble on that big fat floppy donkey dick. SERIOUSLY I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR A DICK.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 7:46pm

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• grab ur asscheeks and spread them, until his cocktip is touching your asscrack, then sitdown onto his throbbing cock until his cock is sliding slowly into your asshole. then bounce until you feel his warm seed slowly enter your rectum and sphincter, then sit up and drip on his balls.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 25, 09 at 10:03pm

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• 6:59 needs a fat cock

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 11:15pm

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• nice reppin the 301.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 3:14pm

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• don't be jerks to her, that's freaking traumatic lol. trust me.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 2:22pm

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• How sad does a girls life have to be that she is seeking attention on tfln by making herself out to be a pathetic whore?

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 2:07am

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• OMG THIS HAPPENED TO ME

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 25, 09 at 9:18pm

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• Ok, do what you normally do. Gobble that thing up, just like a baby bird earring a worm!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:01pm

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• She lost her chance

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 3:11pm

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• Unbeknownst to the readers of this site, this text is about a mall Santa.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 6:12pm

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• why is everyone saying, ohh gurrl i feel sorry for you? did anyone stop to think it could be a boy? crazy shits happenin in schools these days...

  Submitted by velvetipp on Feb 19, 10 at 2:15pm

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• THIS HAPPENED TO ME ONE TIME!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 25, 09 at 9:14pm

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• ......................../´¯/) ......................,/¯..// ...................../..../ / ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´(..´......,~/'...') .........\.................\/..../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( ..............\.............\ Fuck you suck it

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 10:54am

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• HAAA 12:02 was the best icing on the cake ever

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 8:34pm

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• LOL. This made me really..lol

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:06pm

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• This reminds me of Seinfeld: "he took it out.". "he what?". "he took...it out"

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 25, 09 at 12:28am

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• This sounds like my friends dad, no matter who's over he is walking around the house in boxers with the door open.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 1:14pm

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• 12:02 finished the thread.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:35pm

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• Haha Seinfeld ftw

  Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 18, 10 at 12:40am

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• Whore----- you know you gave it a little kiss....

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 1:48pm

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• 12:02 FTW...HILARIOUS!!!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:20pm

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• stick it in your mouth, whore

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:25pm

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• suck it like tha thing u r!!!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 5:18pm

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• €=====================3 mmmmmm

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 12:04am

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• Suck onthat dick girl meow

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 26, 09 at 7:53pm

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• Merry Christmas from 10:03.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 25, 09 at 10:41pm

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• 12:02 is so ftw. rofl

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 4:02pm

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• Yes his dick is out please CUM now!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 9:21pm

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• It's moments like these I'm glad I have legs so I can get up and leave.

  Submitted by MarcheHare on Jan 12, 10 at 10:13pm

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• put it in your mouth it won't hurt u

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 7:04pm

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• so something I would do

  Submitted by wuddup440 on Aug 3, 10 at 5:25pm

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• 2:07 stop being gayyyy

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 4:06am

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• Whores may not get respect but you have to admit, they are sexy.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 1:09pm

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• 12.02 is freakin hillarious!! BEST CALL EVER!!! you are one of the few truly funny people on this site!!!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 5:30pm

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• You liked it don't lie

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 2:27pm

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• whoa truce this is mine but i submitted it awhile ago...wonder why it just showed up

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 3:11pm

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• 7:46 i think i love you

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 9:19pm

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• Just hop on and give him the ride he deserves

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 1:47pm

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• oh just suck it and get it over with slutttt

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 1:22pm

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• How old was he?

  Submitted by sal22 on Jun 20, 10 at 6:02pm

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• totally had the same problem at a party the other day. fortunately there were like 15 other ppl with me & i was too fucked up to see it clearly

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 7:46pm

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• 9:21 the only dif between me nd u is I sed tht to a guys face b4 and he sed k hahahahaha

  Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 10:06pm

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