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  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:02pm

    Sorry, but Christmas is the only time you get to see Grandpa, so you have to stay.

  • 97 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 2:03pm

    OMG i can't begin to explain knowing this feeling...after a first date a guy asked me to watch pulp fiction with him at his house, next thing I know hes chasing me around the apt naked...I had to lock myself in his room til he promised he'd let me leave....I feel for you! lol

  • 86 48
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 2:47pm

    12:02 wins....the end, if another frat douche says "suck it" stop living vicariously through this person. we hate you. go 12:02!

  • 78 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:15pm

    12:02 blew the actual text out of the water on the funny meter.

  • 76 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:05pm

    1202 ftw hahahahaha that was glorious

  • 71 46
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:14pm

    Actually 12:12 you have to be first to ruin it fir those "first" retards

  • 64 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 2:03pm

    AND I was texting my best friend the same thing lol

  • 65 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:14pm

    hahaha the way this is worded is funny! I like this one!

  • 59 47
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 12:37am

    Poor girl, I hope your friend came and got you.

  • 58 45
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 6:59pm

    this is not funny, this is sad. whoever it was was probably really terrified.

  • 59 49
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 7:29pm

    That sucks I hope you got out

  • 68 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 25, 09 at 9:14pm

    THIS HAPPENED TO ME ONE TIME!

  • 60 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 4:48am

    10:59 - <3 chris hansen! He just makes you shit your pants when u walk in cause he has you by the balls. :)

  • 59 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 6:12pm

    Unbeknownst to the readers of this site, this text is about a mall Santa.

  • 71 86
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:01pm

    Ok, do what you normally do. Gobble that thing up, just like a baby bird earring a worm!

  • 57 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 2:07am

    How sad does a girls life have to be that she is seeking attention on tfln by making herself out to be a pathetic whore?

  • 51 49
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 27, 09 at 1:05am

    Ahahaha! I would flip my shit.

  • 46 40
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 3:14pm

    nice reppin the 301.

  • 56 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:05pm

    hahahahahahahahaha nasty but so funny 12:02

  • 61 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 25, 09 at 10:03pm

    grab ur asscheeks and spread them, until his cocktip is touching your asscrack, then sitdown onto his throbbing cock until his cock is sliding slowly into your asshole. then bounce until you feel his warm seed slowly enter your rectum and sphincter, then sit up and drip on his balls.

  • 50 51
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 11, 10 at 5:30am

    Gross. Don't blame ya

  • 48 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 8:34pm

    HAAA 12:02 was the best icing on the cake ever

  • 52 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 18, 10 at 12:40am

    Haha Seinfeld ftw

  • 48 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 25, 09 at 9:18pm

    OMG THIS HAPPENED TO ME

  • 62 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:35pm

    12:02 finished the thread.

  • 52 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 4:02pm

    12:02 is so ftw. rofl

  • 49 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 25, 09 at 12:28am

    This reminds me of Seinfeld: "he took it out.". "he what?". "he took...it out"

  • 54 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:25pm

    stick it in your mouth, whore

  • 51 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 7:04pm

    put it in your mouth it won't hurt u

  • 41 48
    Submitted by velvetipp on Feb 19, 10 at 2:15pm

    why is everyone saying, ohh gurrl i feel sorry for you? did anyone stop to think it could be a boy? crazy shits happenin in schools these days...

  • 52 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 26, 09 at 7:53pm

    Suck onthat dick girl meow

  • 49 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 12:04am

    €=====================3 mmmmmm

  • 57 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 1:22pm

    oh just suck it and get it over with slutttt

  • 45 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 10:54am

    ......................../´¯/) ......................,/¯..// ...................../..../ / ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´(..´......,~/'...') .........\.................\/..../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( ..............\.............\ Fuck you suck it

  • 49 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 1:14pm

    This sounds like my friends dad, no matter who's over he is walking around the house in boxers with the door open.

  • 48 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 25, 09 at 10:41pm

    Merry Christmas from 10:03.

  • 52 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:06pm

    LOL. This made me really..lol

  • 46 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 7:46pm

    DICKS?!!!! Where?!!! I love sitting dicks just so suckable and shit. I want a mapquest to your place so I can gobble on that big fat floppy donkey dick. SERIOUSLY I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR A DICK.

  • 41 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 2:22pm

    don't be jerks to her, that's freaking traumatic lol. trust me.

  • 46 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 11:15pm

    6:59 needs a fat cock

  • 40 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 5:30pm

    12.02 is freakin hillarious!! BEST CALL EVER!!! you are one of the few truly funny people on this site!!!

  • 42 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 3:11pm

    She lost her chance

  • 42 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 3:11pm

    whoa truce this is mine but i submitted it awhile ago...wonder why it just showed up

  • 45 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:20pm

    12:02 FTW...HILARIOUS!!!

  • 53 85
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 9:19pm

    7:46 i think i love you

  • 49 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 1:09pm

    Whores may not get respect but you have to admit, they are sexy.

  • 50 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 9:21pm

    Yes his dick is out please CUM now!

  • 47 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 5:18pm

    suck it like tha thing u r!!!

  • 31 45
    Submitted by c615s on Apr 28, 11 at 4:09pm

    Where in marylabd does this happen

  • 40 63
    Submitted by MarcheHare on Jan 12, 10 at 10:13pm

    It's moments like these I'm glad I have legs so I can get up and leave.

  • 36 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 4:06am

    2:07 stop being gayyyy

  • 44 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 7:46pm

    totally had the same problem at a party the other day. fortunately there were like 15 other ppl with me & i was too fucked up to see it clearly

  • 42 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 1:47pm

    Just hop on and give him the ride he deserves

  • 33 57
    Submitted by wuddup440 on Aug 3, 10 at 5:25pm

    so something I would do

  • 42 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 2:27pm

    You liked it don't lie

  • 40 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 10:06pm

    9:21 the only dif between me nd u is I sed tht to a guys face b4 and he sed k hahahahaha

  • 31 56
    Submitted by sal22 on Jun 20, 10 at 6:02pm

    How old was he?

  • 35 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 1:48pm

    Whore----- you know you gave it a little kiss....