peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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