If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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