I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
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He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
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We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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