Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize