we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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