It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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