have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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