all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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