I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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